With the new movie He's Just Not Into You hitting theaters, we decided to turn the tables and identify the signals that you're lukewarm about him. Listen, we know it can be hard to admit you're just not feeling a guy who seems perfect on paper, but think about it this way: Every moment you spend with the wrong man is a moment you're missing out with the right one.
By Esther Crain
1. You don’t think about him much when you’re apart. When there are real sparks with a guy, he’s on your mind constantly — you see his face in crowds, you reread his texts, you plan out your next date in your mind over and over. When you’re not truly attracted to him, he pops into your brain infrequently, and when he does, there’s no heart-thumping anticipation.
2. You don’t especially want him to meet your friends and family. Even if he’s a good, solid guy, you may worry that he won’t impress the people closest to you because he doesn’t really impress you either. Another reason you may be keeping him under wraps: You’re afraid that friends and family members will sense a lack of excitement on your part and ask you why you’re with a man you’re not head-over-heels for.
3. It doesn’t bother you when he goes out without you. He says he’s hanging with some co-workers Friday night. No big deal. Saturday night he’ll be reuniting with frat buddies from college. You tell him to have a good time and you’ll talk later. If you don’t feel a twinge of discomfort (or worse, you feel actual relief) when he makes lots of solo plans, it’s a red flag.
4. You’re not excited to hook up with him. Everyone feels too tired or too stressed for sex every once in a while, but if you rarely look forward to getting naked with him, you need to reevaluate the relationship. Listen to your body: If you don’t feel physical chemistry, the emotional kind probably isn’t there either.
5. You wonder if other guys you meet are available. You may not think there’s anything wrong with secretly sizing up another guy’s date-ability potential; hey, you’re not giving him your phone number or anything. But it’s a tip-off that you’re kind of looking and assessing your options.
Source: Yvonne Thomas, PhD, Los Angeles-based psychologist
And I can't wait to watch He's Just Not Into You, Slumdog Millionaire, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Marley and Me.
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